Hello & Welcome to Three Babies Under Two!
The first month home with newborn twins and a toddler was such a chaotic time, full of change and transitioning to life with three babies under two! I am writing this with the hope it helps other parents. Learn from my mistakes. Don’t put unrealistic pressure on yourself. Try to enjoy the moment. Atleast the enjoyable ones, you don’t have to enjoy the blowouts.
My girls were born early one January morning. I carried them 38 weeks and was so excited to get them out and finally meet them! They arrived via c-section. While still on the table being sown up the nurse tried to hand me BOTH girls to hold. Common practice with twins, I guess. I responded “No! I can’t hold both babies at once, I’ll drop one.” I had no idea what I was in for. I don’t know what I expected. I had wrapped my mind around the idea of twins but actually holding two babies at once was my first awakening to the reality of twins. I had two babies to care for, two babies to love and two babies to protect for the rest of my life!
Bringing Home Babies!
The twins and I came home two days after their birth. Bringing home TWO babies is such a shock! We were welcome by our toddler and a lot of family to help with whatever was needed. I had the expectation of doing things by myself because I am independent to a fault. I felt that I brought them in this world, they are my responsibilites. I had three adults at the house just waiting to help with anything I needed and I rarely used their help because I wanted to do it myself. (No idea where my toddler gets her strong-willed attitude.)
Don’t be like me. Take the help!! There is no award for being a martyr.
During the first few weeks home my main focus was making sure my toddler didn’t feel left out. Instead of having family help with the babies I asked they take her to the zoo, science museum and other fun activities EVERYDAY. I thought it was so important she remembered her sisters coming home as a fun time in her life. (but really, who remembers anything at 1.5?!) This set an unrealistic expectation of constant fun. She would have been just as happy hanging around the house doing puzzles, reading books, dancing and playing. I know that because that’s what most of our days look like now 9 months later. Planning some activities for your toddler is great. It’s wonderful to get bonding time with the babies, and know your toddler is having fun and is cared for.
Don’t put the pressure on yourself of jam packing your toddler with fun activities!
Newborns sleep a lot, especially during the day and they party pretty hard at night. My toddler slept pretty good at night and was energetic and full of life all day. Learn a good rhythm. Try implementing an hour of quiet time while the babies nap, promote independent play skills with your toddler. Sometimes just some quiet time is a good substitute for a nap, not the same but still a nice break.
The first few months you are drained of energy, you’re still trying to recover from a major surgery or from pushing two babies out. Find activities that replenish your energy. Just small things you can do during the day to energize yourself and help you feel normal-ish.
Breastfeeding is tough! Tandem breastfeeding is ridiculously tough! I breastfed my twins tandem simply because it saved soo much time. When you have twins and a toddler anything to save time is worth doing! I used the Twin Brestfriend pillow and loved it! There is no way I could have done it without using that pillow. It kept my girls at a comfortable angle, has an outside pocket and has a backrest for mom! Some of my struggles with breastfeeding were with producing enough milk and what I did produce had excessive lipase. Which means it spoils very quickly. Breastfeeding just wasn’t in the cards for me, I called it quits around 4 months.
Give yourself grace. There is a lot of newness and all the hormones don’t help. Cry when you need to cry. Nap when you can. Let things fall to the wayside for a bit, they’ll be picked up later. The house does not need to be cleaned today. Relax instead. The dishes will get done at some point.
The best advice I can give is take it easy. Stay in bed, snuggle your new babies a little extra. Keep stress low.
I want to hear from you!
What was the most difficult and most joyous parts of your first month with your newborn?